February 22nd 2024
oh shit i just woke up from my winter hibernation and i forgot about my website! not really haha. i don't hibernate im not that kind of creature. but i did forget about the website after getting caught up in so much stuff that ive been doing haha. i havent had time to do shit! not even like read a book or anything!! well maybe i couldve done that but i wanted to play digimon world ds in stead.... oh well! i found the time to mess with my site right now so im gonna do it! yippee!!!
gosh a lot has happened since i last messed with this site. my birthday happened? crazy. i uploaded some writing ive done but now theres another thing i need to upload. i need to finish writing other things as well, i have a half-finished 133 seas story just sitting on my computer gathering dust. ive also been really into the digimon tcg recently, i've built a couple decks and am building another couple atm. i went to a prerelease for bt15 which was pretty fun, even if I didn't really care about the set. im in it for bt16 imperialdramon support babyyyyyyy!
oh, im going on a study abroad trip for spring break, to munich. it's been really stressful trying to get the money for it and like my passport and stuff but at this point that stuff is almost all past me and i can just enjoy the trip. im decently excited about it, but also rather nervous haha. im sure it'll be fine though!
oh shit also! i started progesterone recently. so that's fuckin cool as shit. I've been on hrt for almost 13 months now which is absolutely fucking crazy to think about. it's wild how far i've come already, and it's exciting looking forward to how far i have to go.
well, that's all i can think of to say, so hopefully i can get more free time to write stuff here and to have fun with this website! wahoo!
Edit: more stuff to say.
I got into a more pensive mood and now I have more stuff that I want to say because i just want to get it out of my brain somewhere.
so, im kind of a lonely person. sometimes i'll attribute that to being a person who sucks to be around, but usually i know that that's not actually true. but i don't really feel like i have many people to talk to. i have friends from high school who i talk to regularly still; they feel more like my family than my actual family. im not sure why. but ive always felt much closer to and safer around my high school friends than my family. but the issue with talking to my high school friends is that they're usually busy. they have jobs and clubs they're involved in, and they have other friends to talk to. i, on the other hand, have found it really difficult to make friends in college; over the past three years of college, i've made maybe 2 friends. one who i talk to over lunch every other day after our partial differential equations class, which is nice, but that's the ONLY time i ever talk to him. and the other friend i've just met but she's pretty cool, she's also trans, but we also essentially never talk, only when we pass each other on our way to classes. So i don't really talk to anyone most of the time, mostly because im afraid to talk to people or to put myself out there i guess. idk. the fact that my friends and family are so far away from me and it costs so much money to get to them and i cant seem to get a part time job no matter how hard i try it all just feels so alienating i guess. idk. im gonna go eat at the dining hall now.
December 20th 2023
Oh FUCK i forgot about this website lmao. well not really. well kinda. but i got caught up with stuff ig. i know no one reads these but i'll post something more soon haha.
September 27th 2023
wow semptember passed me by real fast. it's been fun! a fun month. besides the apendectomy obviously. but i got to go visit some friends who live 3 hours away, and that was a lot of fun. I got drunk for the first time and we went hiking in the mountains. those were on two different days those didn't happen back to back haha. we accidentally took a more difficult hiking trail than we were supposed to. We were supposed to take the moderate route, because of my recent appendectomy and one of us had injured their arm a few days earlier. we accidentally took the difficult one though which was funny once we figured it out. it turned out fine though, and it was a fun hike! We got a great few from pretty high up, where we could see for quite a ways. lots of fun!!!
school's been fine. the quantum mechanics portion of modern physics is going pretty well, it's a lot of fun! it's nice to be doing integrals again, it's been awhile. my daily integral intake is gonna be increasing soon though, since we're almost at the continuous distributions chapter in stats. chemistry is going fine, and it seems like the missing labs haven't wreaked too much havoc on my grade. hopefully that keeps up. ive got a lot of other stuff to stress about related to school, like figuring out all the stuff I need for stufy abroad and figuring out what my research project is going to be.
oh, tonight i'm gonna be gming a session of 10 Candles with some friends! 10 candles is a tragic horror tabletop game that's really fun to play and this is the first time im gonna be gming it so im pretty excited. it's a fun game where the number of dice you can roll is determined by how many candles are lit, which slowly decreases over the gametime, meaning there's this sense of panic that's created as time begins to run out and the players become hopeless. the whole idea is that all of the player characters die at the end. there's other interesting bits about it too, like how narrative control isnt necessarily always in the hands of the gm and you burn portions or your character sheet as the game progresses. it's a really fun game and i cant wait to gm tonight!! im gonna go take a nap so my brain is sufficiently charged for that.
September 7th 2023
soooo i had to get an emergency appendectomy earlier this week asdnajsj. so i've been at home all week recovering from surgery because of that and hopefully i'll be able to get back to school next week! ive been trying my best to keep up with classes and stuff while ive been away but there's some stuff that i just cant make up for, like chem labs. im p sure im gonna be missing 2 of those now, which isnt going to be great for my chem grade but. hopefully i'll still be able to pull an A out of it despite that. just gotta make sure to show up to all the rest of the labs and stuff, you know. but my professors have been really understanding about my situation overall which is good!
we started a new chapter in stats class and ive been enjoying it a lot more than the previous one so far. the last chapter was on probability and it wasnt very fun to me but the chapter we're on now is over discrete random variables which feels more like pure maths to me and so ive been having more fun with it. we're also starting the section in modern physics over quantum mechanics next week so i'm really excited for that. overall my classes are getting a little more enjoyable i think. even though chemistry is still about the same. but they cant all be winners i suppose!
also im hoping that once i head back to school and my friends and i can organize a game night like we've been wanting to. we were almost able to recently, but it was a little too late and so we just had dinner and talked instead, which was also nice! but also i want to play some tabletop games so hopefully we're able to organize that soon. either way, it'll be nice to see my friends again after a week of having to be at home.
oh yeah also i added a gallery to the site to post pictures of the cats! i've currently got all of the pictures i have up there, so now i'll be able to add more whenever i take them. now ive got to come up with more things to put on this site, cause i want to put more stuff on here but im not sure exactly what yet. we'll see what i come up with!
August 26th 2023
i was doing some diff eq homework and i remembered that i hadnt touched my site in like a week haha. I guess i was real busy this past week. also it was really fuckin hot all week and that tired me out so i was also doin lotsa napping :3. i love naps theyre grrate. anyways now that I ve been in class for a couple weeks I have more of an idea of which classes I like this semester! turns out it's exactly like i expected haha. physics and maths are my favs, stats is boring and chem is monotonous. guess it's nice that I know myself enough to know what classes I'll like at this point :p.
Me n some friends went and got pizza at a local place the other day and that was fun!! it was nice to catch up after summer, since we don't talk too much about what's going on in our lives over text. we want to try to arrange a day for us to meet up and play tabletop games and have dinner but i dont know if everyone's schedules are gonna line up. I hope they do since that would be really fun and a nice thing to look forward to every week but. we'll see!
i've gotta start worrying about figuring out the study abroad i have to do before i graduate. It's really stressful for me to think about so i've been putting it off but I really shouldn't anymore. so that kinda sucks. hopefully it'll be fun whenever I actually go though. Speaking of things that have been stressing me out, I have stuff to work out with respect to the research program i'm in now, mostly just who my faculty mentor is going to be and what it is that i'm actually going to be doing reasearch on. once again it's a wall of stress that I'll have to push through to get to something that'll hopefully be enjoyable. ah well.
Oh, I haven't mentioned my doctor who rewatch yet on this site! Me and another friend (who is attending a different college) have been rewatching all of Doctor Who, from An Unearthly Child to Power of the Doctor. we even have a schedule that i keep track of, cause we wanna be completely caught up with the show before the 60th airs later this year. We started around November of last year and we should finish in October of this year according to the schedule, so it's been a big time commitment! but also it's been really fun :3. We finished series 4 of NuWho last night and we're finishing up tennant's run tonight. but yeah! that's a thing i've been doing for almost a year now. i'm not sure i would recommend it, but that doesnt mean I haven't enjoyed it!
so yeah, the semester is in full swing now and stuff's about to get stressful. we'll see how much i remember to add stuff to this site haha.
August 18th 2023
wahoo i just finished my first week back at schooool! So far im like 50/50 split with respect to how much i like my classes cause i like my physics and math class but the stats and chem class im not enjoying very much haha. its cool though cause boring is better than really difficult i guess. mabe. im trying not to get too stressed about everything yet and its going okay. it kinda sucks to have a semester where you have some classes youre really excited about and others that you don't but its still nice to get excited about some of them anyways! gotta look at the positives i guess. And then next semester i get to take a bunch of classes im excited for cause its basically just physics classes and a chem class.
oh yeah oh yeah! one of my friends is in town for work so we hung out on Wendesday and drank and watched season 3 of mob psycho 100 cause they havent seen it yet!! that was pretty fun and we've still got the last arc to watch still and im excited for that! i havent gotten to spend time with my friends a lot recently and i love hanging out with my friends so its nice to get to do that. it really helps to take the stress off of school and everything and helps me relax so im glad that i get to do that sometimes. hopefully ill get to do more of that soon!